Feelings about michael jackson?

Last month, my choir did a medly of Michael Jackson songs. I used to hate him, saying he was a pedo and everything. But when i listened to his music and did some research my views changed completly. Now i love him and i got 6 of his CDs. But right now im having strange feelings about all of this. I often have daydreams that involve him (although nothing ever sexual, im 14). I started praying even though im not religious at all. I did for about a week, but then dropped it because it felt weird. I think about him alot, most of the time and honestly im very confused about how im feeling right now. I feel that i spend too much time thinking about him but i cant stop. I feel jealous of the people that were close to him and got to know him. Noone in my family exept for me and one of my sisters likes him. The rest of my family shun him completly. I cannot get him out of my head. Even when i try not to, i end up daydreaming about him or his family or his kids and listining to his music. Am i just confused? Or making up for not knowing his music for so long? Or something else? Im a 14 yr old girl if that helps. Thanks!